Secondhand Embarrassment

If you suffer with secondhand embarrassment like I do, then I don’t have to tell you how annoying and awkward it is. It never ceases to amaze me how I always find myself in these weird situations where I end up feeling embarrassed for the other person. I never go looking for secondhand embarrassment triggers, but they always seem to find me!

I remember one time when I was in my mid to late 20s, I encountered a woman who slipped and fell in front me as she was coming out one of the stores. As she was falling, she decided to lock eyes with me. Now out of all the people that was there during that moment in time, she decided to make eye contact and lock eyes with me. Have mercy! While everyone was laughing, I was cringing with secondhand embarrassment on the inside. After I helped her up and asked her if she was okay, I immediately walked away because my secondhand embarrassment was becoming overwhelming. I seriously wanted to disappear at that moment.

Here’s another one. Me and my brother were at a restaurant not too long ago and there was a couple arguing at the bar. As me and my brother were waiting for our food because we had ordered it to go, the woman decided to smack her boyfriend or husband in the face. It was so loud y’all that it echoed. Immediately after she slaps him, he turns and looks in the direction of me and my brother and makes eye contact with us. At that point, me and my brother put our heads down and allowed the secondhand embarrassment to run its course. Out of all the people in that restaurant, he chose to look and make eye contact with us. Sir, whatchu looking at us for? We didn’t slap you.

I’ve had people tell me over the years that I shouldn’t get embarrassed for other people, but it’s not that easy for me. It is something that I have struggled with for years which begs the question, does anyone else suffer with secondhand embarrassment? If you struggle with it, please know that you are not alone. I feel your pain!

👀-Anita